


If the Skate Fits

by achoo_gesundheit



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Crack, Disney on Ice AU, Fluff, M/M, Really just general silliness, gratuitous disney references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achoo_gesundheit/pseuds/achoo_gesundheit
Summary: Jack just hadn’t been expecting to feel – well, he hadn’t been expecting to feel anything in particular at Disney on Ice, but he certainly hadn’t imagined that he’d be sitting at intermission with butterflies in his stomach and a charming southern accent ringing in his ears. He couldn’t wait for the second act.





	If the Skate Fits

Georgia had her daughter’s sixth birthday party at the Falconer’s rink. Like her mother, Paulina spent more time there than nearly anywhere else, and she had just gotten a new pair of skates for Christmas, and if it made George’s already hectic life a smidgen easier, well that was just a bonus.

Players, George had said, were invited, but by no means obligated to attend. But the whole team knew Paulie, and they loved George and her wife, and so they brought their own kids to the rink and it was quite the event.

Jack did not have any kids, but he liked Paulie. She was precocious and cheerful, and she didn’t know Jack’s Dad, or Jack’s Past, or Jack’s hockey stats. And, when Jack would color with her in the lounge after practice, she assured him that even though Rapunzel’s dress was supposed to be purple, it was okay to color it however he wanted.

It was because of these coloring sessions that Jack had thought to buy the tickets as a birthday gift. He got three, thinking it would be a nice afternoon for the whole family. Jack handed George the envelope when he got to the party, and she laughed when she opened it.

“Paulie will be so excited,” George said, passing them to her wife. “She hasn’t worn anything but a princess dress in weeks.”

“I feel like I’m washing them every day,” Camila agreed, glancing down at the tickets. “Aw man, I’m going to be out of town this weekend.”

“Seriously?” George asked, checking out the date.

“It’s the same weekend as the conference at Dartmouth,” Camila said. “I’m supposed to give a lecture – I really can’t miss it.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, crestfallen.

“No, no, lindo, it’s not your fault!” Camila said. “It’s a wonderful gift. Paulina will be thrilled.”

It was at this moment that Paulie came crashing off the ice and into the stands. “Did you see me, Mami? Did you see?” 

“Si, mija, you were wonderful!” Camila said, reaching up for a high-five that Paulie enthusiastically returned.

“Hey Paulie, look what Jack just gave me,” George said. She bent down to show the tickets to Paulie. “Can you read it?”

“Rapunzel!” Paulie shouted, and George laughed. 

“Yeah, they’re tickets to see Disney on Ice!” George explained.

Paulie gasped. “On ice?” She whirled around to squeal at Jack.

“Yeah,” Jack replied, smiling. “Rapunzel ice skates.”

Paulie was jumping up and down on her own skates, and she wobbled over to give Jack an unsteady hug.

“What do you say, Paulina?” Camila asked, and Paulie tilted her head up to beam at Jack.

“Are you gonna come?” She asked, breathless. “Can I sit by you?” She gasped again. “Can I wear my Tiana dress?”

Jack chuckled, and Camila rolled her eyes. “What she meant to say was thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jack said. “But I don’t know if I can come.” 

“You could take my ticket,” Camila said with a shrug. “Someone ought to use it.”

Paulie’s eyes lit up, and she grabbed Jack’s hand. “Please, please, please!”

Jack looked to George.

“Please, please, please don’t make me go by myself,” George said.

Jack laughed. “Okay,” he said, and Paulie shrieked with delight.

“Thank you, Mr. Jack!” She gave him another hug and then tottered away at a breakneck pace back to the rink, presumably to spread the word that she was going to see Disney on Ice with Jack Zimmermann.

George clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re a good man, Jack.”

Camila nodded in agreement. “A braver man than I.”

Jack waved them off with a small smile rather than admit that an outing with a six year old and her mother would be the highlight of his January social life.

“Get some cake,” George said. “I already cleared it with Nate,” she added when Jack raised an eyebrow. “You’re allowed one piece.” She leaned in close to whisper, conspiratorially, “But what happens at the birthday party, stays at the birthday party.” She winked, and Jack chuckled, nodding.

“Thanks,” he said.

George shot him a grin over her shoulder and headed off to greet more guests. When Jack turned around, Camila was immersed in conversation with Tater, who was, from what Jack could gather, trying to convince her that ice skating had been invented in Russia. There were a few other teammates milling around, and Jack waved at Marty and his wife, who gestured him over to where they were standing with some parents of Paulie’s friends. Jack held up a hand and shook his head, pointing towards the ice. He had never been very good at parties, the small talk and the mingling, but skating – that was always easy. Jack never felt at home anywhere quite the way he did in an ice rink.

He tried to remind himself of that when two weeks later he, George, and Paulie pushed their way through a throng of families to find their seats at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence. The Plexiglas barriers normally separating the audience from the rink during hockey games had been removed, and an elaborate set piece had been erected on one side where a goal would normally be. Their seats were ice level, near a corner of the rink just beside a raised platform that Jack could only imagine would become part of the show somehow. Paulie was wearing her Tiana dress, and nearly vibrating out of her seat in excitement. Jack tried to remember a time he had ever been that excited. He couldn’t.

George let Jack buy her a snow cone and a sparkling LED princess wand, but drew the line at the bags of cotton candy as big as Paulie’s face. The stadium filled up around them, and when the lights went down Jack could see the glow of hundreds of flashing wands and swords. He grinned at George as Paulie waved hers in the air with delight. George rolled her eyes, but mouthed a quick “thank you” over the top of Paulie’s head. 

Then, the set piece opened up and Mickey and Minnie skated out onto the ice and Paulie screamed, snow cone nearly landing in Jack’s lap. Jack watched Mickey skate and wondered how much that costume weighed, whether it was more than the fifteen pounds of gear Jack suited up in. Minnie skated in neat circles to wave at the audience, and Jack was impressed.

The first story, they learned, would be about Cinderella, and Jack was torn between watching the show and watching Paulie, whose eyes were wide and starry as the actors emerged. Cinderella was graceful, and her evil stepsisters were slapstick superstars, falling down with choreographed flails to the delight of the crowd. By the time a full carriage rolled out onto the stage to take Cinderella to the ball, Jack was undoubtedly enjoying himself. Disney knew how to put on a show. The ball ended as they knew it would, and Cinderella fled, leaving behind a glass slipper (Jack wondered why it wasn’t an ice skate, and made a mental note to ask George her thoughts at intermission). It was then that the prince summoned his Royal Guard, and the ensemble emerged in matching uniform to do a dazzling bit of skating that had even Jack applauding with something approaching gusto. The prince ordered his Guard to track down Cinderella, and Jack watched him hand a skater the glass slipper. The guard began skating around the rink, and before Jack had time to think, they were stepping off the ice towards them, running up to Paulie with a smile.

“What’s your name, miss?” The guard asked, southern accent clear and cheery and unfamiliar.

Paulie’s mouth dropped open, and Jack fought not to have a similar reaction. The skater was young, maybe twenty, and had the most beautiful brown eyes Jack had ever seen. He was compact and fit and looking positively ridiculous in a plumed hat and too tight trousers. He beamed at Paulie, and Jack forgot how to breathe.

“Her name’s Paulina,” George said to the skater, and Paulie snapped out of her trance.

“I’m here because it was my birthday,” Paulie whispered, and the skater grinned at her.

“Do you think this slipper is the right size, Paulina?” he asked. 

Paulie reacted so fast Jack nearly missed the moment she almost kicked the man in the face. But the skater grabbed Paulie’s foot with the ease of a person who was kicked by children on a regular basis, and made a show of trying to slide the slipper on her foot.

“Alas, my lady, it doesn’t fit!” He whirled around to tell the prince, who threw his hands up in exaggerated disappointment. “Farewell, princess,” the skater said, bowing to Paulie. Before he straightened up, he tilted his head to look at Jack, and winked. And then he was gone, skating at a truly startling speed across the rink to try the shoe on another guest. Jack and Paulie both leaned back in their seats, star-struck. George saw the matching awe on their faces and managed to hold back her cackles until the announcer called for intermission, but then there was no stopping her.

“I expect this kind of fawning from my six year old kid,” George said, after finally reigning in her laughter. “But I can’t say I was ready for a lovesick twenty-three year old hockey player.”

Jack blushed.

“If only there was a program, we could get his name,” George said, teasing, and it occurred to Jack that he would probably never know who the man was. His face must have fallen, because George reached over to lay a hand on his shoulder. “I’m just teasing you,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Jack said.

“I gotta pee,” Paulie said, and George sighed.

“We’ll be back.”

Jack nodded. It was fine. He just hadn’t been expecting to feel – well, he hadn’t been expecting to feel anything in particular at Disney on Ice, but he certainly hadn’t imagined that he’d be sitting at intermission with butterflies in his stomach he hadn’t felt since Kent. He reminded himself that he didn’t even know this man’s name, wasn’t even sure he was over the age of eighteen, and would likely never see him again after today. Which rationally, Jack thought to himself, meant he should make a point to see as much as possible of him today. He couldn’t wait for the second act.

*

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Bitty collapsed into a chair backstage, prying his skates off as someone else came to help him with his hat and his tailcoat. “Did you see that hunk of a guy sitting in the front row?” He fanned himself with one hand. “Be still my fragile Southern heart, but I can’t take this kind of temptation.”

“Who we talking about?” Shitty asked, pulling on the harness that went underneath his costume for the second act.

“Hey, Bits, you got me a target for the lantern scene yet?” Lardo interrupted, coming around the corner.

Bitty nodded. “Girl in the green Tiana dress, front row, section twelve,” he said. 

“Name?” Lardo asked, scribbling the info down on a post it.

“Paulina,” Bitty said. “It was just her birthday, apparently.”

“Perfect,” Lardo said. “Thanks, Bitty.”

“Hey, Lardo,” He said, before she left. “The guy sitting with her – can you get me a name?”

Lardo raised an eyebrow.

“Bitty’s got a crush,” Shitty explained from behind him.

Bitty flushed. “There was a moment!” he shouted at them, and Lardo snickered, but she shot Bitty a finger gun on her way out, which Bitty took as a sign she’d at least try to get some info on the mystery man. Shitty was shaking his head, and Bitty socked him in the shoulder. “It could happen!”

Shitty nodded sadly, and stepped into the legs of his costume. “Dare to dream, bro. Dare to dream." 

* 

Paulie and George made it back to their seats just as the announcer gave a three-minute warning. He also encouraged everyone in the audience to use this time to make a post on social media, and to please remember to use #DisneyonIce and #DaretoDream. George laughed out loud at that, but to Paulie’s delight Jack pulled out his phone, taking a crooked selfie of the three of them. “You told me I need to foster a more active internet presence,” Jack said when George started laughing.

“Touché,” George conceded, and showed Jack how to upload the photo to twitter.

_Fun with friends_ , Jack captioned, then added, _#DisneyonIce#DaretoDream._

George smiled in approval.

Just as he got his phone back in his pocket, the lights went off again. Paulie immediately turned her wand back on, and clapped as Mickey and Minnie skated onto the ice. They introduced the next story, one about a girl with long, beautiful hair who was locked away in a tower, and Paulie grabbed Jack’s arm in excitement. 

“Rapunzel!” She breathed, and Jack nodded enthusiastically. Then Paulie noticed Flynn Rider descending from the ceiling and what Jack thought was unsurpassable level of excitement from the children in the audience skyrocketed into frenzy. Minnie and Mickey left and the story began in earnest. 

The mysterious soldier was not playing any of the leads, and Jack couldn’t find him in the ensemble either. His heart sank, but he was bolstered by the sheer joy radiating off of Paulie. He had to admit, the Rapunzel act was even better than Cinderella. There were more costumes, aerial acrobatics, and a shockingly convincing two-person horse on ice skates that had even Jack laughing out loud.

While Paulie watched an ensemble of ruffians and thugs sing about their dreams of piano playing and cupcake baking, a young woman dressed in stage blacks appeared next to George in the aisle, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” the woman said softly. “My name’s Larissa, I work for the show. We traditionally have a member of the audience help us with the lantern scene at the end of the story, and we heard it was recently your daughter’s birthday. With your permission, we’ll bring her up to release a lantern.”

George glanced over at Jack, and he shrugged in confusion. Paulie hadn’t taken her eyes off the ice. “How did you know about her birthday?” George asked Larissa.

“The skater you interacted with earlier – the guard? He told us she’d be a good choice.”

Jack sat up a little straighter in his seat, and George smirked at him.

“That was very kind of him,” George whispered. “I’m sure Paulie would love to help.”

“Excellent,” Larisssa said. “We’ll let you know when it’s time. She’ll only be going to that platform,” she pointed to the raised step Jack had noticed when they sat down, “and then the skaters will show her what to do.”

“That’s great, thank you.”

Larissa nodded, then looked over at Jack. Her eyes widened a fraction, and then she was gone, disappearing back up the aisle.

*

“Well?” Bitty asked, disentangling himself from Shitty. “Did you get it?”

Lardo grabbed one of the many water bottles scattered backstage and took a swig. “Nope.”

“What? Why not?”

“Yeah, Lards,” Shitty said, stepping backwards out of the front two legs of the horse he and Bitty were dressed as. “What if he was the one?” He drew out the last word dramatically.

Lardo grimaced. “What is this, a romantic comedy?”

“Lardo!” Bitty whined, face red and sweaty from exertion.

“Lardo!” Shitty repeated, throwing a sweaty arm around her shoulders.

“Eugh, god, gross,” she said, shoving Shitty away. “Relax, dipshits. I know who he is.”

“What?” Bitty said at the same time Shitty shouted, “Who?”

“It’s Jack Zimmermann,” Lardo said nonchalantly. She watched the boys’ mouths drop open and took another sip of water.

“I’m sorry, what?” Bitty asked softly.

“Eric Bittle,” Shitty said, spinning around to face him. “You didn’t recognize Jack. Fucking. Zimmermann?”

“It was dark!” Bitty wailed, flapping a hand at him. “And why would he be here of all places?”

Lardo shrugged.

“Are you sure it was him?” Bitty asked.

“Chyeah. I would recognize that level of hockey hunk anywhere.”

Shitty grinned. “That’s why she can always find me in a crowd,” he told Bitty.

“Yeah,” Lardo agreed. “I just follow the stench.”

“Hey, I showered this week!” 

Lardo was about to fire back a retort when Ransom and Holster, skates and black stagehand capes still on, nearly toppled her over on their approach.

“Bros, you will never guess who’s sitting in the front row right now!” Ransom shouted, dodging Lardo’s punch and nearly slamming into Bitty.

“Jack Zimmermann?” Shitty asked, struggling to retie the bandana holding back his flow.

“Jack fucking Zimmermann!” Holster shouted, manic. “He’s sitting there with a lady and little kid!”

Bitty scrunched up his nose in confusion. “Does he have a kid?”

There were a few questioning glances thrown around until finally everyone looked to Lardo, who managed to pull up his Wikipedia page. 

“He does not,” she told them, holding up her phone to show the screen. They all huddled around it, Shitty’s bandana still slipping into his eyes.

“Huh,” he said. “Interesting.”

“Do we know who the lady is?” Ransom asked, shoving Holster aside so he could read the screen.

“Girlfriend?” Holster posited, but Lardo shook her head.

“Zimmermann doesn’t date.”

“Or he just does it on the DL,” Shitty said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Bitty looked appalled, but Lardo’s eyes went hard. “If I see any of you snapping photos of him I will break your phones in half.” Ransom and Holster shuffled awkwardly for a moment, eyes on the floor, and Lardo added, “Followed by your dick.”

They all winced simultaneously, and then a frantic stagehand was waving Lardo over, and they all scrambled to places. Shitty and Bitty climbed back inside the horse costume, but not before Bitty retied the bandana around Shitty’s head.

“You need a haircut,” Bitty said, trying to tie a knot without actually touching Shitty’s hair.

“And you need to get some tail,” Shitty said, stepping into the front of the horse costume before Bitty could smack him in the head. “Preferably one not attached to a horse.”

“Shitty!”

“I’m just saying,” Shitty said, sticking his head in the costume. “We could all stand to see some ass that didn’t belong to a fucking horse.”

*

Towards the end of the second act, two skaters skid to a stop next to Paulie and led her up to the platform, placing a lantern in her hand and helping her toss it up towards the ceiling. By the time she made it back to her seat, she was downright giddy, and George grinned over at Jack. Jack tried a smile to match, chucking Paulie on the shoulder. Neither skater had been the one he was hoping to see. In fact, the man never appeared again, not even when all the princesses from every Disney movie skated out at the end, accompanied by their princes. Paulie was out of her seat and shouting, twirling around in her Tiana dress until the actual Tiana waved at her from the ice. She swooned back into her seat then, and Jack smothered a laugh in his hand. George, on the other hand, snapped a picture, doing nothing to hide her own amusement.

Finally, the last of the skaters left the ice and the lights in the stadium came back on. Paulie would not stop talking, clutching onto Jack’s hand and chattering away. George led them both into the throng of people trying to exit, and Jack gripped Paulie’s hand a little tighter, worried she’d get pulled away in the rush. With his other hand, he tugged his cap a little further down over his face. He never did like crowds.

He looked up suddenly when George yanked on his arm.

“Come here, I need you to hover for a sec,” she said, leading him towards one of the staff entrances.

“What?” Jack asked, looking down to make sure Paulie was still with him.

“No one is gonna recognize me,” George said, reaching down to scoop Paulie up in her arms, leaving Jack’s hands feeling suddenly useless. “But they’ll recognize you.”  

Jack hunched his shoulders on instinct, trying to make his hulking frame even a little bit smaller. “And that’s a good thing?”

George rolled her eyes. “You know those famous guy strings you’re always afraid to pull?”

Jack shrugged, and George grinned at him.

“We’re gonna yank some.”

*

“Yo, Bits,” Lardo said, leaning around the doorframe to where he and Shitty were still separating themselves from the horse costume. “I’ve been told your prince charming is loitering in the lobby outside the stage door.”

“Oh for-“ Bitty started. “He is not my-“ He cut himself off at Shitty’s pitiful glance. “We had a moment!”

“Apparently Zimmermann thought so too,” Lardo said, smirking.

Shitty cooed. “Little baby Bits, wearing hooves and breaking hearts.”

Bitty punched him in the arm. “Now y’all know we have a strict policy of not interacting with the guests out of character!”

“Fucking ow!” Shitty wailed, clutching his arm.

“And surely someone ought to go inform him of that policy,” Lardo said, and jerked her head suggestively towards the exit. 

Shitty waggled his eyebrows at Bitty, and Bitty almost punched him again. Shitty flinched out of the way just in time, though, dancing to the other side of the room to tug off his skates.

Bitty sighed. “Come on, guys, I’m in no fit state to go out there! I just spent the last half hour inside a horse!”

Lardo gave him a once over and winced. “You do look a little rough.” She tapped a finger on her chin in thought. “Where’s your Cinderella jacket?”

*

They’d been hovering outside the door for ten minutes, and so far nothing. Jack was starting to get antsy, to say nothing of Paulie, who was squirming in George’s arms.

“Come on, George, it’s fine,” Jack said.

George sighed, shifting Paulie to her other hip. “I swear, this usually works.”

“It’s no big deal,” Jack said again. “I don’t even know him.” 

“Yeah, but it could have been great,” George said sadly.

Jack snorted. “I think someone’s been watching too many princess movies.”

“A real possibility,” George conceded. “But don’t you believe in magic sometimes? Just a little?” 

“I do!” Paulie said proudly, and Jack smiled.

“As you should,” George told her, kissing her head fondly. “But I think maybe today’s been magical enough.”

Jack nodded gratefully, but they had barely turned around before the staff door was thrown open and an enormously flustered guard was pushed through. He quickly regained his balance though, and Jack saw him shoot an angry look at the closing door before turning around, snapping to attention, feet together and hands behind his back.

Jack’s heart skipped a beat.

“Greetings, sir, madam, Princess,” he added, nodding solemnly at Paulie. “I regret to inform you that the princesses are unable to attend to guests at this time.”

George elbowed Jack in the ribs, disbelieving grin on her face, but Jack couldn’t seem to find words. The guard was just as lovely as he’d remembered, face still flushed from skating, hair comically tousled under the ridiculous helmet. He seemed even shorter now though, and at first Jack imagined it was because he’d been sitting when he saw him last, until he looked down and saw that the guard wasn’t wearing any shoes.

The guard cleared his throat. “Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my boots.”

“Oh my God,” George said, delighted.

“Mama,” Paulie said, still squirming. “I gotta pee.”

George sighed, already looking around for a bathroom. “You,” she said, pointing at Jack. “Stay here.” 

“But-“ Jack started, gesturing helplessly to the shoeless guard.

“Hey!” George said in the firm voice she reserved for her daughter and her hockey players. “Magic, Jack. Magic.”

Jack watched her speed away, familiar anxiety starting to churn in his gut.

The guard shuffled in his socks. “Were you hoping to meet a princess today, sir?” 

“Um,” Jack started. “No. Not really.”

The guard raised his eyebrows.

Jack swallowed, wondering if they were having the conversation he thought they were having. “I’ve, uh, never really had much interest in princesses.”

“Then a prince, perhaps?” The guard asked, smiling a little.

Jack couldn’t help but return it. “Perhaps." 

*

This wasn’t happening. In no universe was Bitty standing in his stockings in the hallway of the Providence arena flirting with the star of the NHL. He was going to kill Lardo.

“Well, I hear wonderful things about that Prince Eric,” Bitty said, and was startled when Jack laughed, shaking his head.

“No? Naveen then.” 

Jack shook his head again, and Bitty was too far gone on this already.

“Well then let me put in a good word for my own lord. Prince Charming is as worthy a man as any. Surely you could not choose a superior.”

A blush was spreading up Jack’s cheeks, and Bitty’s stomach was doing somersaults, and he was pretty sure this was against the terms of his contract.

“You know, you bear more than a passing resemblance to his highness,” Bitty said bravely. “Surely you’ve no lack of suitors at your disposal.”

Jack made a noise then that could have been a laugh or a cough. He ran one hand nervously through his hair. “I’ve never really seen myself as charming, to be honest.”

Bitty almost brought a hand to his heart, because if that wasn’t the most charming thing he’d ever heard. “Well,” he said carefully, reaching out to hand Jack the keychain he’d been clutching in his fist. “If the shoe fits.”

*

By the time George and Paulie came back, the guard was gone, and Jack was standing alone in the hallway.

“No go?” George asked, disappointed. But when Jack turned around there was a cautious smile on his face, glass slipper keychain dangling from his fingers. “Oh my God,” George said.

Paulie squealed, snatching the keychain from his hand to watch it sparkle.

The piece of paper that had been tied around the key ring had already been detached, a new name and number burning a hole in Jack’s pocket.

* 

Georgia had her daughter’s seventh birthday party at the Falconer’s rink. Paulie was fast enough now to outpace almost all the Falconers, Jack included. He watched with George and Camila as she raced around the rink, grown men puffing and panting behind her. Paulie was beaming, cheeks flushed and hair whipping around her face as she chased the last contender around the ice. As they turned the last curve towards the finish, Bitty did a neat one-eighty spin to grin up at Jack, crossing the finish line backwards, and a solid yard ahead of Paulie. Jack’s heart did a familiar flip in his chest, and he couldn’t help the smile that pushed its way onto his face. Bitty blew him a kiss from the ice and winked, and Jack had to admit, it felt a little bit like magic.

**Author's Note:**

> A year ago I went to see Disney on Ice, and the first 75% of this nonsense happened two days afterwards, at my friends' insistence. Thanks to K for convincing me to post it these many months later.


End file.
